Thrive on Purpose

Trauma takes us out of ourselves. When our nervous systems are holding the unprocessed energy of trauma, we are less available for the goodness of life.

When we have unresolved trauma, it's easy to take a job that doesn't fulfill us, because of some imagined future payoff.

It's harder to say "no" to social commitments that aren't a fit, if we've forgotten what our deep connection to aliveness feels like.

It's easy to rush simple pleasures like hugging a friend or cuddling with our partner, because it's harder to feel anything when the body is trying not to feel the trauma.

Our bodies create a holding pattern to prevent trauma from overwhelming us. But that holding pattern requires energy, which it siphons away from our authentic aliveness.

Until we heal.

And then our energy and aliveness come rushing back into our awareness, flooding our sense of self with nourishment and power.

Trauma healing restores our connection to ourselves. It centers us right where we should be, not as spectators, but in the middle of our wild and precious life.

When we're centered in ourselves, we are available for vibrant connection with others. And we are ready and eager to engage with the world on our terms, to create something meaningful with our lives, to live from a deep sense of purpose.

Healing trauma returns our vision of ourselves and our place in the world to where they’re meant to be.

That place of deep authenticity feels amazing in the body. The deep pulse of aliveness, the electricity of the air, the crispness of the sounds, the deep belly swell of the breath. Everything gets clearer as it comes into focus.

Our bodies are aching to heal because of all the goodness that healing brings to all parts of our lives — our sense of self, our relationships, and our connection to purpose.

But instead of healing, most people are content to settle. They think the boredom, the foreboding dread, the meaninglessness is supposed to happen as we get older. “That’s life,” they say, with a despondent flatness. They’ve been told that’s the way the world is. As if the color going out of things is the natural burden of maturation and adulthood.

This is so deeply, tragically wrong.

If we don't recognize that our malaise is a sign that we need healing, we risk dulling down the crashing, glorious symphony of life, with all its gorgeous chaos and magic.

If we tell ourselves that numbness is normal, we put blinders on our innate potential to create lives of breathtaking meaning.

If we resign ourselves to lives without purpose, the entire world and the trajectory of life on this planet misses out on the glorious potential of you.

But if we decide to embark on the epic journey of healing where the light has dimmed? Of ministering to the places in us that have tried so valiantly not to feel the pain of old wounds?

My friends, setting out on the journey of trauma healing can feel terrifying — but the path is sweet.

On it, you will meet yourself again.

You will remember your wholeness and the perfection of you, just as you are.

You will laugh with tears in your eyes when you see that nothing needs to be fixed — only loved back into the light.

When we return to ourselves, after wandering for years and often decades in the grey and shadowy realms of trauma, we feel ourselves in a way that is difficult to describe. The easiest way to say it is that we find our purpose. We know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, what makes us feel good — what kind of work, which relationships, what kind of boundaries and self-care.

We know, because the body doesn't lie. The body is just waiting to become our most trusted, beloved companion in life. Waiting for us to heal.

Here's how.

1. Recognize the unhealed trauma for what it is.

Patterns of overwhelm, avoidance, anxiety, and shutdown limit your life and collapse the horizons of what you believe is possible. But we can always change. Always. Once we see what needs healing, we can work with it. But this step takes a bedrock of courage and mountains of self-compassion.

2. Decide to heal.

This might sound simplistic, but most of us give up before we've even begun. We try something that doesn't work (like cognitive behavioral therapy, for example, which is not super effective for trauma), and then decide that we're the ones who are broken when it doesn’t work. We give up too easily on ourselves. Don't let this be true for you.

3. Embark on an epic journey, ideally with a guide.

Journeys are best undertaken with others — even an inner journey like trauma healing. Be discerning. Find yourself a knowledgeable guide (or several) that you like and trust. It could be me, or another experienced somatic trauma practitioner. But don't go alone. You're less likely to get lost and give up if you have others by your side.

Healing allows us to imagine and build the lives we often dreamed of but never thought possible.

And when we do, we find our authenticity, and with it — our purpose.

I am honored to be walking this path with you, towards healing and being evermore purposeful in the world.

Blessings to the path ahead.

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